From the best-selling book, "UNDERSTANDING THE LAW: A PRIMER" (2008, iUniverse Publishers), by Attorney Charles Jerome Ware, comes the following funny excerpts:
- In Florida, by statute, having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (Ouch!!!)
-In Florida, When having sex with another human being, only the missionary position is legal.
- In New York, the maximum punishment for jumping off a building is the death penalty.
- In New York City, it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing".
- In Alabama, it is illegal to play Dominoes on Sunday.
- Also, in Jasper Alabama, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb. (So-o-o humane).
- In Arkansas, it is against the law to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas. (Enacted clearly on a very slow day in the State Capitol.)
- In California, it is illegal to eat an orange in your bathtub. (Message: PAY ATTENTION when bathing!)
- In Denver, Colorado, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. (How un-neighborly!)
- In Connecticut a pickle, by official definition, is not a pickle unless it bounces. (The "bounce" is in the pickle.)
- In Georgia, apparently in an effort to avoid indecent exposure, it is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades.
- In Delaware, getting married on a date is grounds for an annulment. (And stupid, we might add.)
- In Arkansas a man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
- In Tucson, Arizona, it is unlawful for women to wear pants.
- In New Jersey, it is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
- In North Dakota, it is illegal to whistle underwater.
- In Monroe, Utah, "daylight" must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
- In South Carolina, every citizen is obliged to carry his gun to church.
Friday, July 29, 2011
"WILL SMITH IN COLUMBIA, MARYLAND"
This past Wednesday evening, July 2th, 2011, I was walking to my home from my neighborhood bar & grill at my golf course here in Columbia, Maryland when suddenly I met my old friend, film icon WILL SMITH, who was taking a nice evening stroll with his daughter.
Will, wife Jada Pinkett Smith, and their children are visiting with Jada's parents in their newly-renovated home not far from my home here in Columbia's Hobbitt Glen neighborhood.
Look for huge and successful entertainment projects from Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in 2012.
As background, it should be helpful to know that Will's wife, actress Jada Pinkett Smith, was born and raised in nearby Baltimore, Maryland. Her mother, Adrienne Banfied, and her stepfather now live here in Columbia.
Jada Pinkett Smith attended the Baltimore School for the Arts, where she majored in dance and choreography. One of her classmates was the now-deceased iconic rapper and actor Tupac Shakur.
Will, wife Jada Pinkett Smith, and their children are visiting with Jada's parents in their newly-renovated home not far from my home here in Columbia's Hobbitt Glen neighborhood.
Look for huge and successful entertainment projects from Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in 2012.
As background, it should be helpful to know that Will's wife, actress Jada Pinkett Smith, was born and raised in nearby Baltimore, Maryland. Her mother, Adrienne Banfied, and her stepfather now live here in Columbia.
Jada Pinkett Smith attended the Baltimore School for the Arts, where she majored in dance and choreography. One of her classmates was the now-deceased iconic rapper and actor Tupac Shakur.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
"CONSUMER LEGAL TIPS AND SECRETS"
The following are excerpts from Attorney Charles Jerome Ware's new book, coming soon in 2011, tentatively titled "Consumer Legal Tips And Secrets".
Attorney Charles Jerome Ware is the former Special Counsel to the Chairman of the United States Federal Trade Commission (FTC). His national law practice is headquartered in Columbia, Maryland, with other locations throughout the United States and the country of Colombia in Latin America.
1. Credit Bureaus are not government agencies. Typically they are private, profit-making companies that collect and sell your personal credit information or credit history.
2. Credit bureaus make lots of money selling your personal information.
3. In fact, the selling of your personal credit information is a multi-billion dollar business annually.
4. The so-called "Big 3" major credit bureaus in the U.S. are Equifax, Experian and TransUnion.
5. Credit reports are frequently wrong; particularly credit reports generated by the so-called "Big 3" major credit bureaus.
6. Further, credit reports are always biased against the consumer --- that is, you.
7. For example, a major bias exists on the part of credit bureaus against the inclusion of positive or good credit information in your credit report or credit file.
8. In many years of experience, I have yet to see a credit report or credit file that, for example, accurately and truly reflects a positive payment history of anyone.
9. The alleged "one credit score" for each person or consumer is a myth. No such thing. There usually are several "credit scores" at the same moment in time for each consumer, from different money-making credit bureaus.
10. Your so-called "credit score" is allegedly calculated using a so-called "algorithm": an intimidating word meaning a complex mathematical formula that absolutely nobody understands.
11. And, it gets worse. Allegedly this so-called credit score algorithm is "proprietary" in nature. This means this "algorithm" hocus-pokus is treated like a secret. A huge money-making secret.
12. There are probably numerous people around the world who have the individual knowledge and skills to an atomic but virtually no individual has the single knowledge to understand the credit score algorithm (or, I guess, manufacture Coca-Cola).
13. In general, credit cards should be treated as your ENEMY; not your friend.
14. Avoid, if at all possible, signing any contract that contains a "confessed judgment" clause.
15. Remember the wisdom of CONTRACTS: The BOLD (large) print in a contract giveth, and the Fine (small) print taketh away.
Attorney Charles Jerome Ware is the former Special Counsel to the Chairman of the United States Federal Trade Commission (FTC). His national law practice is headquartered in Columbia, Maryland, with other locations throughout the United States and the country of Colombia in Latin America.
1. Credit Bureaus are not government agencies. Typically they are private, profit-making companies that collect and sell your personal credit information or credit history.
2. Credit bureaus make lots of money selling your personal information.
3. In fact, the selling of your personal credit information is a multi-billion dollar business annually.
4. The so-called "Big 3" major credit bureaus in the U.S. are Equifax, Experian and TransUnion.
5. Credit reports are frequently wrong; particularly credit reports generated by the so-called "Big 3" major credit bureaus.
6. Further, credit reports are always biased against the consumer --- that is, you.
7. For example, a major bias exists on the part of credit bureaus against the inclusion of positive or good credit information in your credit report or credit file.
8. In many years of experience, I have yet to see a credit report or credit file that, for example, accurately and truly reflects a positive payment history of anyone.
9. The alleged "one credit score" for each person or consumer is a myth. No such thing. There usually are several "credit scores" at the same moment in time for each consumer, from different money-making credit bureaus.
10. Your so-called "credit score" is allegedly calculated using a so-called "algorithm": an intimidating word meaning a complex mathematical formula that absolutely nobody understands.
11. And, it gets worse. Allegedly this so-called credit score algorithm is "proprietary" in nature. This means this "algorithm" hocus-pokus is treated like a secret. A huge money-making secret.
12. There are probably numerous people around the world who have the individual knowledge and skills to an atomic but virtually no individual has the single knowledge to understand the credit score algorithm (or, I guess, manufacture Coca-Cola).
13. In general, credit cards should be treated as your ENEMY; not your friend.
14. Avoid, if at all possible, signing any contract that contains a "confessed judgment" clause.
15. Remember the wisdom of CONTRACTS: The BOLD (large) print in a contract giveth, and the Fine (small) print taketh away.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
"THE IMMIGRATION PARADOX: 15 Tips for Winning Immigration Cases"
Excerpts from this book, published in 2009 by Attorney Charles Jerome Ware, formerly the youngest U.S. Immigration Judge in United States history.
Immigration, and in particular, undocumented or so-called illegal immigration, is a heated subject in modern-day politics.
As a former United States Immigration Judge, I have always been amazed by the lack of knowledge shown by our elected officials particularly, and the American public generally, over the issue of immigration. As a result, I believe, views on immigration tend to gravitate towards the extremes.
In a nation of immigrants, in which the land was taken from the natives by immigrants, the established immigrants either despise new immigrants to the extreme or adopt new immigrants to the extreme. This shortage of centrist immigration views over time has, again, contributed to the “immigration paradox” that I discuss in this book.
"ANDREW YOUNG and MARTIN LUTHER KING III": Client update
Former United Nations Ambassador, U.S. Congressman, Mayor of Atlanta ANDREW YOUNG and Martin Luther King III are on schedule to launch their over-the-air television network, "BOUNCE TV"", this fall of 2011 out of Atlanta, Georgia. The new network, designed specifically for African-American audiences, is scheduled to air 24 hours a day and seven (7) days a week.
"DONOVAN MCNABB and the Minnesota VIKINGS"
Look for former Philadelphia Eagles and current Washington Redkins quarterback DONOVAN MCNABB to play for the Minnesota Vikings this new National Football League (NFL) season (2011-2012). Donovan will be a better fit for the Vikings over the Redskins, whish has demonstrated itself to be a less-than-classy football franchise.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
"NIGERIA, CAMEROON, OPRAH WINFREY and MPAA": Client Updates by Attorney Charles Ware
NIGERIA: The illegal drug war in the Federal Republic of Nigeria got a shot of adrenaline (pardon the pun) recently in the Nigerian city of Lagos with the discovery of a large clandestine drug laboratory used to manufacture methamphetamine. The raid was implemented by Nigeria's National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA).
CAMEROON: The North American Baptist Conference's (NABC's) short-term mission agency, Gateway Teams, is assembling an open team of missionaries that will be heading to the country of Cameroon, West Africa in July-August 2011. The team will serve together with Cameroonian youth working with children in sports and other opportunities for religious fellowship.
OPRAH WINFREY: Can "The Katie Couric Show" continue the same magic for ABC affiliates as "The Oprah Winfrey Show", starting in September 2012?
"The Oprah Winfrey Show" ran for 25 seasons and was consistently the highest-rated talk show in television history.
Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) Ratings Bulletin:
The Ratings:
G: GENERAL AUDIENCES. All ages admitted.
PG: PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED. Some material may not be suitable for Children.
PG-13: PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
R: RESTRICTED. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or legal guardian.
NC-17: NO ONE 17 AND UNDER ADMITTED.
All information is provided courtesy of the Classification and Rating Administration of the Motion Picture Association
CAMEROON: The North American Baptist Conference's (NABC's) short-term mission agency, Gateway Teams, is assembling an open team of missionaries that will be heading to the country of Cameroon, West Africa in July-August 2011. The team will serve together with Cameroonian youth working with children in sports and other opportunities for religious fellowship.
OPRAH WINFREY: Can "The Katie Couric Show" continue the same magic for ABC affiliates as "The Oprah Winfrey Show", starting in September 2012?
"The Oprah Winfrey Show" ran for 25 seasons and was consistently the highest-rated talk show in television history.
Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) Ratings Bulletin:
The Ratings:
G: GENERAL AUDIENCES. All ages admitted.
PG: PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED. Some material may not be suitable for Children.
PG-13: PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
R: RESTRICTED. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or legal guardian.
NC-17: NO ONE 17 AND UNDER ADMITTED.
All information is provided courtesy of the Classification and Rating Administration of the Motion Picture Association
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